For Parents: How to Talk About Student Grief

Parents

Here are some aspects to focus on when helping your child through the loss of a classmate and the grieving process. Try to keep the lines of communication open and express your concern, support, and love. If your child confides in you, show that you take those concerns seriously, for a child it can feel immense and consuming. Don't minimize or ignore what your child is going through, as this can increase their sense of hopelessness.

Safety & Security

You should know that your student just wants to make sense of what happened. They want to understand the “why”. By talking them through their emotions, this will help them process the situation.
Help your student feel safe & secure.
Allow to express what they are feeling. Reassuring statements: You are safe with me. I am here to help you. We can get through this. I understand why you are upset. This is hard.

Listen & Validate

What are you feeling right now?
Possible statements:
- It’s okay to feel this right now.
- It’s okay to feel scared, anxious, mad, confused.
- There is no right or wrong way to feel.

Preparing for the Future

Everyone handles grief differently. It’s okay to feel fear, anger, confusion, guilt, shame, grief.
It may take time to heal.
You may feel fine in this moment, but feelings may arise in weeks and months to come.
This is typical of grief.
Sometimes it may help to go talk to someone either at school, like a school counselor,
or trusted adult. Or we may need to talk to a counselor in the community or reach out
for professional help.
If your child doesn't feel comfortable talking with you, suggest a more neutral person, such as
another relative, a clergy member, a coach, a school counselor, or your child's doctor.

Comprehensive Resource Guide

If you're worried about your teen or another child, take it seriously and talk to them right away. You also can turn to these resources for 24/7 help:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: You can call or text 988. You also can contact them through their website.
Trevor Lifeline for LGBTQ community: 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678. You can also contact them through their website.

Community Resources: